Weโve all been there: a gathering where the conversation feels stuck in a loop of โWhat do you do?โ or โHow have you been?โ While these questions arenโt inherently bad, they rarely open the door to meaningful dialogue.
At รme Atendre, we believe that gatherings create opportunities for connection, curiosity, and shared stories. With a little intention, you can spark deeper conversations that turn small talk into moments of real connection.
Here are a few conversation starters to inspire meaningful dialogue at your next gathering.
Brenรฉ Brownโs Rumble Language
Brenรฉ Brown describes a โrumbleโ as a conversation grounded in curiosity, openness, and vulnerability. Itโs about showing up with an open heart and mind, leaning into discomfort, and being willing to engage in honest dialogue. At social gatherings, this approach can transform surface-level chatter into meaningful connections.
Adapting Brownโs rumble language to a social setting means replacing small talk with questions that invite storytelling and understanding. Itโs about staying curious and genuinely engaging with others to create a space where everyone feels seen and valued.
Rumble Starters
Hereโs Brownโs cheatsheet of rumble language:
- “Iโm curious about…”
- “Tell me more.”
- “Iโm wondering…”
- “Help me understand.”
- “Walk me through that.”
- “Whatโs your passion around this?”
Priya Parkerโs Magical Question Equation
The moment has arrived: everyone is seated around the table, the conversation is flowing, and the atmosphere feels warm and inviting. Itโs the perfect time to ask what Priya Parker, author of The Art of Gathering, calls a โmagical question.โ
The magical question equation is โa question thatโs both interesting to each person to answer, and each person would be curious to hear everyone elseโs response.โ These questions spark curiosity, encourage storytelling, and bring the group together in shared reflection. They transform a casual conversation into a meaningful moment, creating deeper connections around the table.
Magical Questions to Try When Youโre Around the Table:
- โWhat was a small but meaningful moment for you this week?โ
- โWhatโs something youโve learned recently that changed how you see the world?โ
- โWho has inspired you lately, and why?โ
- Perfect for January: โWhat was your favorite moment of the past year, and what do you want to learn in the year ahead?โ
Ashley Gould: Going Beyond โHow Are You?โ
When conversations begin with โHow are you?โ the answers are often predictable and surface-level. รme Atendre founder Ashley Gould encourages us to rethink the classic icebreaker question, especially in settings where deeper connections are possible. Instead of asking a routine question, try something more specific and tangible. These types of questions give the other person something concrete to respond to, creating opportunities for follow-ups and richer dialogue.
Questions to Try Instead of โHow Are You?โ
- โHow do you know [the host]?โ
- โWhat were you doing before this?โ
- โWhat are you doing after this?โ
- โWhere did you get that shirt? I love it!โ
- โWhatโs a dish youโve made recently that youโre proud of?โ
For more of Ashleyโs reflections on meaningful conversations, read the full blog post here.
Esther Perelโs Listening Lens
In a culture that often prioritizes speaking over listening, Esther Perel, renowned psychotherapist and author, invites us to โturn the lens on youโ by centering gatherings around deep, reflective questions. Much like Priya Parkerโs idea of the โmagical question,โ Perel emphasizes the power of a single, well-chosen prompt to bring people together. By unifying your guests around one meaningful question, you encourage both self-reflection and the kind of listening that fosters genuine connection.
At a recent dinner, Perel asked her guests, โWhat is a relationship question you have at this moment?โ The responses ranged from lighthearted to deeply personal, offering a glimpse into each guestโs unique world and sparking meaningful conversations. Both Perel and Parker share the belief that the right question can create a shared experience, allowing guests to connect on a deeper level while remaining curious about each otherโs answers.
Questions for Listening
Here are some gathering questions Perel recommends you try out at your next gathering (shared meal or not):
- โWhat would you tell your 20-year-old self?โ
- โWhat is a lesson youโve learned from heartbreak?โ
- โWhen did you know you were no longer a child?โ
- โWhatโs a conversation you know you need to have with yourself?โ
- โDescribe a time when you changed your mind.โ
- โWhatโs the best piece of advice youโve ever received?โ
Gather with Intention and Curiosity
At รme Atendre, we believe that meaningful gatherings are the foundation of true connection. By creating intentional spaces where curiosity and vulnerability thrive, we help people connect to what truly matters. As you gather with loved ones or strangers soon to become friends, good questions guide you toward deeper dialogue, shared stories, and the kind of connections that a gathering into a meaningful memory.