Reflecting on Ten Years: A Journey In Grief and Connection

September 13, 2024, is the 10-year anniversary of my father, Harvey Gould’s, passing. This milestone is the inspiration for our Death + Dying podcast series. I am reminded of what Âme Atendre is all about as I sit here resting my left hand around one of our becoming-beloved mugs, my right arm in a sling for six weeks following shoulder surgery. 

Our company was created to provide objects that accompany you on all of life’s journeys. Âme Atendre mirrors life. And, like life itself, we don’t just reflect joy. We reflect a range of human experience—togetherness, solitude, celebration, longing, grief, fear, gratitude, and hopefully, ultimately, peace. 

Today, somehow, I feel every one of these feelings. 

I miss my father every day. I still feel that the end of his life could have been easier. I listen to the songs he recorded for us, his voice explaining the backstory of each song he wrote, and it both breaks my heart and brings me peace. 

Sometimes, when I’m listening to my father’s recordings, I feel he’s still here, recording in a studio in California. His recordings provide for posterity a record of what he cared about, what he stood for, and the good he did in the world.

As I reflect on my father’s life and the meaning that lingers in the items he left behind, I am reminded of how deeply intertwined the world of objects and memory can be. At Âme Atendre, we strive to create objects that hold space for memories and the beauty of the present moment. In this blog, I’ll share how our current collection honors these ideas and introduce new items we’re crafting to honor the particular experiences of grief and remembrance.

Embracing Meaning

I hope that you listen to our Death + Dying series in our On the Table with Ashley podcast. I hope it inspires you—whether to read a new book, listen to a new podcast, or reflect on your life in a new light. 

I hope that our conversations help people in a meaningful way. 

This is the same hope I have for the objects in the Âme Atendre collection—that you try them and find something personal and meaningful in them. 

We developed our collection of Gatherware through thoughtful design and iteration with small producers all over the world. Each item is made by artisans who are experts at imbuing elegance into practical pieces. We do all this with a sense of purpose around the idea that beauty elevates our lived experiences and brings meaning to every moment, whether it be a celebratory gathering or an hour of calm solitude. 

I invite you to experiment with this idea yourself by bringing a satisfying object into a routine moment. 

Pause in your workday to sip a cold drink of water from a borosilicate drinking glass, noticing its tapered silhouette fitting gently into your hand. When gathering with friends, serve cocktails from the starry texture of crystal tumblers. Write a letter to a friend on a notecard foil-pressed with gold leaf and assembled by hand.

These acts may seem small and ordinary, but to me, they are the actions that matter. In the end, we remember the moments when we allow ourselves to be present. In presence, we find vulnerability, curiosity, connection, and the ability to be at peace with what is. 

A New Offering: The ‘Death Box’

In my research for the Death + Dying series, the concept of a ‘death box’ was brought up in the book A Beginners Guide to the End: Practical Advice for Living Life and Facing Death by Dr. BJ Miller and Shoshana Berger. 

The idea is to have a physical box in which you put important documents like your wills and trusts, as well as ethical wills and letters (Susan Turnbull discusses these in episode 4 of the series, airing on October 9). The box can also be a home for special keepsakes or other items for posterity. 

Dylan and I decided to design our own death box. We have worked hard to imbue its design with a feeling of peace and acceptance. Hand-crafted from high-quality walnut wood, it is easy to pick up from beautiful grooves on each side. It locks so that you can feel comfortable putting sensitive documents inside.

We’d love feedback on whether to call the box a ‘death box’ (which may feel morose to some), a ‘posterity box,’ or something else entirely. Please reach out to us with your thoughts.

We are finalizing our prototype and hope to be able to offer this meaningful and useful object soon.

Turning Loved Ones’ Clothes into Custom Blankets

The other object that we have been working on as we have recorded the Death + Dying series is a custom blanket to remember loved ones who have passed. 

After my father died, my stepmom and I took some of his clothes to a woman who had made baby blankets for our family. She lovingly made blankets out of my father’s clothes. 

It is truly amazing to admire and wrap myself in these blankets. I see each piece of clothing, and I feel my father in those clothes, I feel him with me. 

In my episode with Ann and Emily of Get Organized Park City (an episode for everyone to listen to—I got from it so much more than organizing tips), the object that Ann shared was a “Crazy Quilt” that had been passed down to her through generations, originally made sometime between 1897-1901. “Crazy Quilts” are sewn with irregular shapes, leftover fabrics from women’s clothing, and meticulous stitching techniques, creating intentional statement pieces that reflect a turning point in the American quilting tradition and art form. Ann shared with us how honored she felt to own this piece of history. 

Our conversation reminded me of the blankets we made after my father died, and as we were working on our Death + Dying series, Dylan and I decided it would be worthwhile to offer hand-made blankets of your loved ones’ clothing as an offering. This is still in the works, but stay tuned. 

Honoring Life’s Moments with Meaningful Objects

At Âme Atendre, we believe that the objects in our lives can help us reflect, remember, and find peace. From our Gatherware collection to new offerings like the ‘Death Box’ and custom blankets, each piece is crafted to honor life’s emotional journeys.

Explore our collection and sign up for our newsletter to receive updates on new releases. Let us help you bring beauty and meaning into the moments that matter most.